


Nights of Quiet Elephants

by onlycrooks



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Grief/Mourning, M/M, hints at some sort of Steve/Danny, past Chin/Malia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 16:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlycrooks/pseuds/onlycrooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>... He studies Danny, whose hair is messy from the pillow he's been borrowing, scruffy face lined from the old pillowcase. His boxers are as loose and worn as his pink t-shirt ("Rachel didn't know one of Gracie's new red shirts had gotten mixed into our laundry basket. I would've thrown it out before, but it made Grace smile," Danny had explained, smiling himself).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nights of Quiet Elephants

**Author's Note:**

> McDanno may be my biggest ship, but Tumblr is nurturing my Chin/Danny feels.
> 
> Also, I'm new to this ship and haven't written any Chilliams (And how cool is this ship name? A++, guys) fics before, so please be kind with critiques.
> 
> Set sometime mid-/post-S3

Chin knows a lot of things. Some are easy and impress only his littlest cousins: his ABCs, eight times tables, how to tie his shoes. Others are harder: high school chemistry and physics, some hacking, the basics of psychological profiling, correct running posture, how to tell whether a gun is rim fire or center fire. The hardest, though, aren't ideas in textbooks. They're ideas like duty and obligation- to family, friends, coworkers, victims, even perpetrators. They're feelings like knowing he's killed the man who killed his wife and knowing it won't change a thing, like the drop of his stomach when he turns to say something to Malia, only to realize she isn't there and never will again. He knows these things, and he's coming to understand how they tie together.

What- who, really- he doesn't understand is slouched in the chair on the other side of the table. Of everyone he knows, Danny's been the most solid in Chin's corner- a more literal corner, too, as times goes on. Danny's been uncharacteristically quiet, offering company without being  _company_ , and somehow, he's always welcome, even when Chin had thought he'd wanted to be alone.

There's something about a quiet Danny, taking up space in his house and foraging through his fridge, that makes Chin's mind settle down. He's mourned Malia more in the past month of undiscussed Danny-sitting than he had in three with a therapist. He's been sleeping more- and sleeping better- the nightmares easing and letting him rest in peace.

When he does have a nightmare, he's found he doesn't have to keep it to himself. He can go into the kitchen, grab two bottles of water and head into the living room, because Danny will be there, awake and full of that odd quietness, willing to talk or listen, whatever Chin needs. He doesn't tell Chin how to mourn or tell him how he's feeling because he's "in stage blank of the grieving process."

Earlier, Chin had had one of the worst nightmares yet. His skin prickles just remembering it, but he's in no mood to analyze what his guilty mind is trying to say. Instead, he studies Danny, whose hair is messy from the pillow he's been borrowing, scruffy face lined from the old pillowcase. His boxers are as loose and worn as his pink t-shirt ("Rachel didn't know one of Gracie's new red shirts had gotten mixed into our laundry basket. I would've thrown it out before, but it made Grace smile," Danny had explained, smiling himself).

Chin knows Danny's had it rough lately. It's not easy, being part of a McGarrett's life, and Steve's got his claws deep in all of them, but Danny especially, whether he'd intended to or not. The way he's running around without a team, oblivious or uncaring of the toll it's taking on Five-0, reminds Chin of Steve's father. Jack had always felt things needed to be done his way or they wouldn't work, and he had to do them on his own, because he didn't want anyone to get hurt- unless it was him. It grates on those left behind- Chin, Doris and the little McGarretts by Jack and Five-0 by Steve- because as important as Shelburn had been and his mother is now, Steve made Five-0. He gave Chin hope, Kono an example and Danny a life. He has a duty to do right by them, and right now, he's failing it.

On his darker days, Chin wonders if Steve even has any use for them now, beyond keeping the Navy at bay while he chases Wo Fat.

Those days are fewer now, the haole in the living room keeping them at bay- likely with hair product, because Chin himself has considered not coming back after Danny's finished taming his hair.

It's a shame Steve can't see what's right in front of him, because if this is how Danny offers comfort, he could take it. Danny at full steam, never, but this side of him, quiet and knowing, though? Chin knows Steve could lend Danny a bed, and in a month, maybe two, he'd realize he'd aired out the deaths in his parents' house. He'd be the one to find Danny in the kitchen, making a latenight snack, and let midnight pancakes take the place of the grief and ghosts he's keeping hidden.

On the other hand, Chin's reluctant to let Danny go. He's gotten used to sharing his home and waking to the sounds of Danny burning something. He's used to strolling into HQ with Danny at  his side, his wry humor pulling smiles from Chin again and again.

 _Maybe it's because he's a father?_ he wonders, thinking of how easily Danny'd become a part of his day.

It's probably part of it, but Chin has a feeling it has more to do with who Danny is. There's a hidden well of concern behind his glares and sharp words.

"Ah, I see you have the laser, too, Chin Ho."

Chin starts. He'd forgotten Danny could talk back.

"Laser?" he repeats slowly. "I'd worry you were drunk, but I know that's water."

Danny a brow, unimpressed. "When Meka was under investigation and McGarrett didn't believe me, you said he and his dad, they have a laser focus. Well, you do, too." He pauses, considering. "Did I ever thank you for that? I meant to."

Chin tries to brush it off, but Danny straightens and square his shoulders. "No, really. I appreciate it, Chin. You stuck by me when I needed it, even though Steve could have had your job for it."

"You and I both know he wouldn't have."

"True, but you can know something without being sure of it." Danny squints. "And that's not my real point- which is that we, as a team, take you for granted. We need someone to fix something? Get Chin. Evidence on a computer? Where's Chin Ho? McGarrett flying by the seat of his pants? Grab Chin and his shotgun. I do it as much as the others, and I'm sorry."

He looks genuinely distraught, as if relying on Chin is a bad thing. Sure, Chin feels like a pack animal sometimes, but when he compares it and the isolation of his last days at HPD, it's like heaven. The trust his team has had in him from the get-go had been overwhelming, especially from Danny.

Unlike Kono, who'd seen everything play out, and McGarrett, who'd believed in his father's trainee, Danny hadn't had any reason to trust him. The cynical transplant who questioned everyone shouldn't have simply trusted Chin. He should have given him time to see if he could prove himself, yet from the first case Danny hadn't hesitated to lean on Chin.

Thinking back, Chin goes over the argument in the bullpen over Danny's former partner. Chin had backed Danny not only because he hadn't been convinced Meka was guilty, but because Danny had needed someone to have his back. Steve and Kono hadn't been willing to take his word, so Chin had made sure he did. Maybe there had been some residual awe of the little haole's unquestioning loyalty, but mostly, Chin had wanted to return Danny's show of faith. The rage he'd found Danny harboring over his treatment at HPD had been unexpected but welcome. He'd had to be reasonable for so long, someone getting up in arms on his behalf had scratched an old itch of uncertainty.

Danny doesn't have to know that after leaving the bar, Chin had found Steve and Kono and torn into them.

"Really, Danny, there's no need. I only did what any good friend would do," Chin insists. It comes out bitter, disappointment in Steve obvious, but Danny lets it go without comment. "I'm not sure I like being classed as a McGarrett, though."

Danny hums and shoots Chin a wry smile. "Too reasonable, I think. Though I never spoke to McGarrett, Sr."

"Just as bad as Steve, brah," he chuckles. "Maybe even a little worse."

"That can't be possible."

"You never saw Jack and Captain Akanu go at it."

Danny grimaces, and Chin knows he's picturing an older version of Steve shouting at Akanu. It's close, but while Steve's big enough to be intimidating, Jack hadn't had that option. He hadn't been small, exactly, but butting heads with Akanu, who's bigger even than Steve, Jack had needed something else- a way of talking that was similar to Danny's, cutting and to the point. He'd only ever used it when cornered, but it was enough to get people to listen.

"Hey, Chin?"

The sound of Danny's voice, low and hesitant, pushes back his memories of Jack. "Yeah, Danny?"

"I know we've had an unspoken  _not-talking-about-this_  rule, but..."

Ah. Chin's been expecting this. "But?"

Danny doesn't look at him. "But... I just wondered if, you know, this was helping? My bro- Matty, he did this when Rachel first left me, and he got me through it. My wife leaving me and Malia dying... They're different, but I don't know what else to do, babe. I figure you'd tell me if I was bothering you usually, but this, this is over my head."

It's basic Danny, trying to comfort someone even when he's got no idea how.

Chin reaches across the table and pats one of his friend's arms. "Yeah, Danny. You're helping."

"You mean it?"

He doesn't laugh at Danny's childish tone, but it's difficult. "I mean it. Now hand me the remote. I think I recorded Friday's  _Antiques Roadshow_ , and I-"

Danny groans and sags into the cushions, gearing up for a fight he's got no chance of winning even as he does as Chin asks.

"Look. You know you're my friend and that I want you to be happy, right? So please don't get angry when I tell you I'm concerned about this habit you're developing. It stinks of nursing homes and lavender. You are young, Chin Ho.  _We_  are young. There are so many-"

Chin gives him a bright smile and deliberately raises the volume.


End file.
